I can't sit still!! Hands, feet, up, down, round and round and round and round.... This is the first time since being admitted. I don't know where it came from. The nurse just gave me double the dose of Ativan. We'll see if it does anything as its usually the dose I take at home. Then again, I haven't had it in a while. I also am having those intrusive thoughts of stabbing myself. They are vivid visions of taking a knife to my abdomen from below. They just play. I'm not actively sad, or mad, or thinking that I want to die. I guess they are just taking care of both birds with one (two) stones.
Edit: An hour later, and now the bouncing has stopped. I'm really mellow and want to go to sleep. Sitting here, I could just melt into the chair. And I would, too, if I weren't chatting with a few friends on Facebook right now. I'll have to cut that short and put on my PJ's and slip into bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment