Filling the Pill Boxes is Tedious On My Birthday

Today is my birthday. I'm 45. Yup. Now you know. My children will all be 20, 18, and 16 on their birthdays later this year. I've spent the day doing exciting things like paying the rent and taking a half-hour nap. My eldest did invite me out for lunch, so we went to Chili's. (I had fajitas.) He brought his girlfriend. That was nice.

So the one thing hanging over my head is that I need to do my pill boxes today. I have so many scripts I haven't even opened never mind filled the boxes with. If I don't do it, I'll have to take the pills out of the bottles each time I need to take them and that's even more of a pain than filling the boxes.

Day 1 down of the 7.5 zyprexa dose and so far so good. I hope it stays this way.

EDIT: I got the pill boxes done. It was a chore- there are a bazillion bottles, and a lot will need refilled before the next round. Side note: There are soooo many pills! I called the anti-coagulation clinic about my coumadin dose, and they said "Happy Birthday!", and told me that I should've had my levels checked back on the 5th! Guess where I'm going tomorrow? I have other blood work in the system for my thyroid, too, that needs doing. (My thyroid is low due to the lithium that I take.)

Weaning off Zyprexa Round 2

My psych nurse practitioner's nurse called me back this afternoon. I'd asked about how to wean down off zyprexa again. Once, NP called her back, I got the message that she's calling in some 7.5's again. I really hope this works. I can't mess up ONE pill a day. (Last time, I was doing it by 2.5s.) Tomorrow is my day to fill my pill boxes. I really don't like that job but it must be done so I sit on the floor surrounded by pill bottles and the boxes and spent about half an hour filling them.

As a side note, I'm taking my youngest (15) to his piano lesson tonight. He had a repetoire class Saturday that I went to also where he played beautifully! So musically and technically wonderfully! The teacher made a video which we are going to watch today at his lesson. I hope the teacher can make me a copy if I pay her $5 or whatever she charges. (She does this for recitals.)

In other news, I'm still going to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday. Last week, I went Friday because I got caught up talking with my friend Thursday morning. I always feel like I don't want to go, but I grab my stuff and go anyway. Thursday was the only day I missed and I made it up the next day.

Back to the original topic, I really hope I don't get those bad side effects from being at 7.5. I'm hoping I messed up the second week, like I guessed by seeing only one pill in the box one day. I just have to get off zyprexa.

Conflicted about Weaning off Zyprexa

My psych nurse practitioner said I could go up to 10 on Zyprexa if I wanted. I do feel some better, but I'm conflicted because I know what the Zyprexa is doing to my liver and my metabolism. (My liver tests just came back normal so I don't want them to be messed up again!) I want to try tapering off again. I have a feeling that the problem I had last time is that I didn't put the zyprexa in my pill box possibly. I can't prove that, at this point, but it would explain the bad withdrawal symptoms. If that's the case, I feel good about going ahead and trying to wean down again. Right now, my pill box is set up with 10 mg pills, one each night for two weeks. I don't even know if I have enough pills to support this weaning. I do have some 5's I could use. I'm conflicted. Psych NP is supposed to call me at some point. Not sure when. I don't see her for several weeks yet.

Musical Hallucination While Driving & Sports Radio Hallucination

As I was driving the kids to school today, it was silent. Usually, we ride with music on, but not this morning. In fact, they usually take the bus, but we were running late. So as I'm driving, I hear music. Singing. Sort of "modern" mid-twentieth century music: starts and stops phrases, sort of atonal. It was nice. But all in my head. Or rather, playing outside my head like real music, but really my brain was making it up. Unfortunately, I'm horrible at trying to write down music- and even worse while I'm driving with no staff paper. So, the music came and went without me. *sigh* It was nice while it lasted.

Five p.m. edit: I'm sitting in the recliner waiting to leave for choir rehearsal when I hear what sounds like a radio broadcast. Maybe sports. Its fuzzy and raspy and I can't make out what they're saying, but it keeps going even so. The washing machine is going in the other room, so that makes it hard to hear. I go upstairs to ask my younger son if he is playing anything in this room that I might be able to hear. No, he says, he's not playing anything. My daughter is in the room with me downstairs, but her phone isn't making any noise that I can't hear. More hallucinations it seems. It can't be the washer because I wash clothes all the time and it doesn't do this.

All Tests Normal

Almost a week ago, I saw my primary doctor. She'd run blood work a few days before. All of it came back normal! Even my pre-diabetes and liver levels! Going to the gym is paying off! I've also been eating low carb. Not no-carb, but as low as I can. That means no big plates of macaroni. (Ugh! Just the thought.) So I'm off to the gym this morning. I've also been taking walks in between workout days. Usually I get 6,000 steps in a day, but sometimes I get a little less. So things are looking up! I see the liver doctor in July, I think, so let's hope things continue this way. She had bad things to say about my liver- something about stage 3 something or other. It was bad.

Zyprexa is a hard beast to give up

Where are my keys? Oh they're there in my purse. Where is my purse? Oh its there on the backseat of the car. Where are my keys? Oh they're in my purse. Where are my keys? Better make sure they're in my purse. Someone is following me. Everywhere. I just started this piece of music but already I wish it were over. I just started this reading in church but is it over yet? Where'd I park my car? If I can't find it, nobody can help me!! I just sat down to this book; is it over yet?

These are some of the things my mind has been doing lately. I told my nurse practitioner and her nurse said she wants to UP my zyprexa. (We're trying to go down.) Down doesn't seem to be going very well. I feel this constant sense of anxiety- of vibrating urgency. Its as if my body doesn't want to give up the zyprexa. So up we go again. I'm waiting for her to call back actually, so see what she actually says. The last plan was to stay at 7.5 mg and reduce as I see fit. Now I'm at 10 mg (according to her nurse) for two weeks. Or maybe longer. I do NP on April 10th. I'll come back after NP calls me this afternoon.

EDIT: NP never called back. But her nurse said to stay on 10 mg of Zyprexa and that NP will call me some time this week. Oh- and I have now lost 20 pounds. Still going to the gym twice a week and trying to walk 6,000 steps on days in between.