Uncharted Territory (Day 6)

Dr. C just pulled me out of Music Therapy to have a meeting. This isn't unusual- they do this to everybody every so often. He asked me if I thought I could fly still. This must be some sort of mental trick to wear you down to agreeing with them; nurses and doctors keep asking me this every time they see me. "People can't fly..." etc. I told him I'd tell him what he wanted to hear if I could get out of here faster. He didn't like that answer, either! "How high would I have to jump from a balcony to be able to fly?" he wanted to know. Six floors? One floor? He asked if I were still getting messages from the sun. He drew a picture of the sun which reminded me of the Teletubbies sun. He wanted to know if I thought I were like Superman- invincible. Maybe that's it, though I don't remember thinking that I was Superman, at the time. Just that I never saw much bad happening to me. I told him I think the Zyprexa is slowing my brain down some, but that I still remember what I was thinking when I wanted to walk into traffic and when I wanted to fly and even though I might know I can't do those things I still believe in them somehow. The duality is still there.

I've been reading my book. Today is slow. We had stretching group and music therapy and that's it. That was fun. Two friends are supposed to visit, too. I hope they do. Today is day Six. Longer than I was here last time. I'm in uncharted territory.