You don't know how hard it is to refuse your calls, emails and texts. Part of me is sad. But mostly I feel our relationship has run its course. It's down to a very small corner in your life and I just am tired. I love you too much to stay. I can't be second - always have been- when I've put more effort into loving you than I should have. I'm sorry you thought I was in the hospital. That wasn't fair of me but I just couldn't bring myself to say these things. I love you but I'm tired. I think there's very little left between us. Even sex, which was always passionate and sweet and tender is now mechanical and detached. It all makes me sad and tired. 7 1/2 years. Too many memories. I can't be seconds anymore. Like my blog post you once asked about said. Yes that was about you and me. I've written more- I revisit the subject a lot. I've watched you search for happiness over the years- I hope you truly find it. It makes me sad that so far you seem to find it but it slips through your fingers.
In some way you have always been my best friend ~
The above is an email I wrote to him yesterday, after a few days of thought. I will miss the awesome sex. That's partly what makes me a bit wistful but there are others out there. The negatives now seem to outweigh the positives. I need to find and honest, kind man, not a cheating, selfish, self-centered man.
Now you can begin to truly focus on yourself, I think that he purposely held you back. He was a toxic presence. You deserve better than that and are worthy of it.
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