Ex Principio (Day 2)

I want to leave. I want to leave. I want to leave. No matter how nice these people are. The bathroom is locked. I can't stand to be in my own skin. I've said all this before. I have to go do shit and I don't want to. I'd rather be drugged. I am drugged but its not taking. They have everything locked. They don't seem to take me seriously when I tell them about the hallucinations. They just figured the drugs will take care of it. They don't stop to think that I might like them. So I am ex precipito- I'm outta here. I'm still just a rat in a cage, as they say. Nothing is going on except groups and eating. I'm still very tired but I have things to do. I can't take a nap. I got out some books to read but I don't know how sucessful that will be. I think I should lick the walls. That would get their attention. I want out of this body. Its driving me up the wall. Drugs or no drugs. I am in limbo. In a place I can't stand. I can't stand it at all. At least the hallucinations keep me entertained! I mean, I've never been in a marching band or a band at all and yet I hear tons of music of one with trumpet solos! In paradisum deducant te Angeli; in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres, et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Ierusalem. Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, et cum Lazaro quondam paupere æternam habeas requiem.

I'm bored. This isn't helping. The nurse just told me my heart rate was up. My blood pressure was up last night. She said the drugs she gave me should've kicked in by now, but they haven't! Whatever. Inside, I am buzzing and wanting to scream. I need to SCREAM!!!