Missed Zyprexa / thoughts worse

The intrusive thoughts are particularly bad tonight. Same thing- 5 mg of Ativan and a knife. My friends are all scared. But I can't call psych ER. I can't stay up all night again. I guess that's my only choice this being the weekend and all. I also discovered while filling my pill box that I've missed a third and maybe two thirds of my Zyprexa this week. Mis-filled the box it seems.