Therapist Follow-up & Laughing at Lunch with Friends

Both "groups" were very similar. Both my therapist and my friends wanted to know how I am doing. How am I feeling? What went on? How did I get to the point of having to go to the hospital? Do I feel okay right now? I also tell each things that I don't tell most people.

My therapist did talk about borderline personality disorder vs. bipolar. It doesn't seem that I really meet the criteria for BPD. I have a few "maybe traits", but its really up in the air, and not definite at all. I'm happy about that. It also seems that my appointment with my psych. nurse practitioner (aka my psych. dr./pdoc) in two weeks is the last appointment I have that my insurance will pay for for the year. Otherwise, I can only call and have someone call me back. (Stupid insurance limits!) I'm keeping it, though, because I only have two weeks on my new medication and I need a real prescription written. (I'm sure I used my appointments up in the middle of the year talking about things I didn't think were helpful with my old therapist, but that's another story.) Of course, we talked about my hospital stay and the week leading up to it. She wanted to know if there were any triggers and what my friend who was at the bookstore with me the night I went to the ER thought. That was the day I was dissociating and wanting to climb off the balcony from the 2nd level. As it happens, I had lunch with this particular friend today, and I asked her. She said she noticed I was acting strangely and wondered if I was okay to drive home, but noted that I did then drive home. Turns out, when I went home is when the suicidal thoughts turned to actions and I eventually called psych. emergency services at the request of a good friend online who is also bipolar. (See post here, "Crying So Mixed Up".) I also mentioned this blog to my therapist, and she was quite interested in reading it, especially the section, "Road to Mania", because it was written while I was manic.

My friends at lunch today were very nice. We go out most Fridays for lunch, including the above-mentioned friend. I had missed last week because it was one of my first days inpatient. They asked how I was feeling. I told them a few stories from my hospital stay that were interesting. We talked about my med changes. About deciding on Topomax vs. Lamictal because of the "Lamictal rash" and Stevens Johnson Syndrome where all of your skin falls off! And about the German doctor, Dr. Music, that I've mentioned here before, who, when I refused for this reason, said, "Ohhhhh! You've been READ-ING!" At any rate, I relayed this story, and just generally how I got from Saphris 2+ weeks ago, to where I am now. Everybody thought it was interesting. They mostly wanted to know how I am feeling- both in general, but in relation to where I was when I went into the hospital and now, and also how I'm feeling on my new meds. This group is all very close. Its really nice to have friends you can tell most anything to, and laugh and cry and having something so intimate happen to you such as a psychiatric hospital stay - and they will still love you.