Calmed and Sedated

Already, I can feel the effects of Topomax. I am more tired and more forgetful. I was pretty forgetful in general, but now I go to write something down so I don't forget to do it, and by the time I pick up the pen, I've forgotten when I wanted to write down.

I feel stoned. Time has slowed down. Tick, tick, tick. 5:14. "I was the only one who got a high score of 30. There were three zeros..." My friend is explaining taking an exam in a class about psych. drugs as a prerequisite for the forensics center he worked for for 30 years. Tick. 5:15. "...talking, talking, talking..." I'm staring into space. Not blinking. It feels good. Almost high. The drug is slowing my brain down. I want to sleep. I have been fighting sleep most of the afternoon. Luckily it is almost dinner time right now. My kids are supposed to come visit me sometime this evening. I haven't seen them since Wednesday. Today is Sunday. Everything here is engineered to calm you down. High-definition photographs line the walls- close-ups of dandilions, alovera plants, fall leaves and waterfalls. There are even clear photographs of branches of the tops of trees in the sky set in the ceilings where the lights can shine through.

All of these things calm and sedate me.