Anti-Depressants and Bipolar

I've twice been prescribed anti-depressants while diagnosed bipolar. The second time was about a year ago. I was out at a restaurant with a friend when I began beating my fingers against the table; then, the fork and knife. I couldn't stop. Bang, bang, bang, rap rap rap, rap, rap, rappa, rappa, rappa, rappa, rappa, rappa... over and over and over and over and over... After several minutes of this, my friend suggested I call my doctor. Instead, I called my friend who researches brain drugs- he's a behavioral pharmacologist. Technically, a doctor. He suggested that my Celexa had made me hypomanic. But the whole time we were talking, he was laughing at my rate of speech and my quick wit. I admit it was a very fun conversation.

The other time- first really-, I wasn't yet diagnosed bipolar but again was out on Celexa. I had driven myself to Wendy's but when I got there I had no idea how I had gotten there. In fact, I had no idea what they did there. I could read the menu but the words made no sense at all. I looked down one hallway, then back again, and had zero idea where I was or how I got there or what those words meant. I called my psych dr. (different than the one I have now) and she said, "You shouldn't have been driving!" I don't remember how I got home. I probably stayed out long enough for the dose to wear off a bit so that I could drive. The sensation was of absolute LACK of emotion. I have NEVER felt this since. Just complete lack of happy, sadness, irritation, joy, etc. It was as if my emotional brain had been switched off. It was freeing, in a way, but in retrospect it was dangerous.

Some people are bipolar and get along with antidepressants. I don't. When I'm depressed, now, they up my anti-psychotic, Zyprexa.