"This Whole Place is Bipolar!"

My youngest son's teacher said this to me yesterday. "This whole place is bipolar." She meant the teachers in the school. She said there is a bit of upheaval going on with the new interim principal.

I'm not quite sure what she meant. Lots of people seem to throw around the term "bipolar": Sometimes they mean "Crazy"; sometimes they mean "unpredictable"; sometimes they mean "wild mood swings"; sometimes they mean "mentally unstable". The meanings change with who is saying it. I was taken aback. I thought to myself, "Hey! I'm bipolar. How dare you bandy the term around!" Its like saying, "That person's a drug addict," whisper whisper... Scenes from movies must play in their heads - a woman screaming and saying incoherent things; a jab of Haldol given in a hurry and then the person slumps over... who knows. Even television portrays bipolar people in the stereotypical extremes. On House a few years ago, the title character got admitted to an old-style mental hospital. His roommate? A bipolar man! What was he like? VERY VERY VERY bouncy and never stopped talking. Granted, he also said he refused to take meds, but if this fictional character really didn't take his meds, he's LUCKY that he just got very talky/bouncy. He likely would've had psychosis and suicidality at some point, or even major depression. THAT would've been interesting to watch - especially derealization. Hollywood: Work that in, would ya? But back to what I was typing. If this teacher would've thought, she would've remembered that I told her once that I'm bipolar and edited herself.

At any rate, if someone is angry in one part of the day and then happy the other part, does that make them bipolar? Probably not. I will say again: Bipolar is NOT just "really happy" and "really sad". During one of my episodes- the one where I was going to leap off a balcony at the grocery store that I mentioned in a previous post- I was walking around town completely detached. Nothing seemed real. I talked with people, but it was as if they were in a parallel universe. As if the two universes were on top of each other but we couldn't communicate. I did manage to talk with the owner of a record shop about my record collection. He said, "Wow! Do you have a degree in this?" What a compliment! And yet, that state helped me to remember and list off all of these facts in the back of my brain. I doubt he noticed anything different about me- after all, he didn't recognize me from any other time I'd been in. I've never gotten so psychotic or detached that I actually go arrested. (That's possible.) I've been to the psych ER, though, and almost was admitted. (Future post.)

So next time you are feeling frustrated, or having a bad day and crying, or you get good news after the bad day and feel elated, please don't say to the world, "I must be bipolar!" Or the next time you feel like punching someone in the face, or the lady in front of you at the grocery store checkout line is slow as tar in January, don't say, "Damn! I must be bipolar!" Count yourself lucky that- more than likely- you're not.