Two Typs of Entries: Hallucidating

I'd been emailing with a long-time friend about my blog and I came up with a realization. There are two types of posts here: Those that are written in-the-moment, and those that are written retrospectively- explaining how things were. The second type loses a lot because its not written with the nuances that the first type is likely to have, being written when the event was going on. I suppose you could call the "explaining" type the "hallucidations"- the clear thinking, lucid posts, when I'm supposedly stable. Then again, its the OTHER type which really show you what is going on with bipolar, like my posts from November last year. I can tell you about it all day long, but unless you read the choppy posts from when I was manic, you won't get the flavor of being manic. Unless you read about my hallucinations from last December that I wrote about while they were happening, you won't really understand just how those voices sounded, or what they may have said or the fact that they scared me. Last year I had quite a few that sounded like a scratchy radio that wasn't quite in tune or a phone that the receiver was on the table as the other person kept talking. But the descriptions in real-time, give an intensity to my mindset. If written retrospectively, I may have forgotten the exactly feeling of being scared! Nevertheless, my post called "Five Hallucinations" had to be written retrospectively, and I think they are pretty good descriptions of what went on. What's more, I can tell you that mania includes a need for sex, but you don't get a good sense of that unless you read about my trials of letting go of my sexual partner over time.