"You Should Stop Taking Your Meds"/"Everybody Is Biplolar" 2

Back in May or so, I wrote a post about my son's music teacher saying that everybody was bipolar. There is nothing that can compare to walking a mile in someone's shoes- maybe 2 or 3.

And on that light, I'd like to continue along a similar theme. I was out to lunch about a week ago with a small group of friends. We try to get together every week, but not everybody shows up every time.

I ended up across the table from one of two transgender people who are part of our group. A very lovely, gentle, funny woman. An engineer. I enjoy our conversations and her infectious laugh very much.

So I broached the subject of bipolar with her. "Do you remember about 5 or 6 weeks ago when Betty* nearly got run into in the parking lot?" [*Name is changed.] "Well," I continued," she and I were at odds because she was upset still and I wasn't sympathetic at all; I was manic, and didn't quite realize it yet." What she replied next floored me. "Why don't you wean off your meds?" Yes, she went on, they were the cause of my problems. Bipolar, to her, didn't exist. It was a "pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps approach. Well, from an engineer, I can see this. But what I WANTED to say- in my now-appropriately-medicated state- was, "Its not a character flaw!!!" I cannot JUST think myself out of a manic state. I wanted to explain to her just WHAT would happen if I weren't ON any meds, as this episode started while on quite a few. But would that logic even make sense to such a person?

Well, you say, what about Dialectical Behavior Therapy to learn to communicate with others better? I've never had that. I've had plenty of therapy, and I am going to go to DBT groups in the new year. But it stands to reason that you can't just think yourself out of the state that I was in a month ago. Go back in this blog and read my four-part series written *while* I was manic; too far gone, is too far gone. Bipolar has a way of hijacking your brain and that's that. No matter if my friend says, "You ARE you brain!" or not. Sometimes, little by little, you are too far gone. And that's what happened to me in September.

So, we're back to what "normal" people think bipolar is. Its clear that- outside of this blog- I am not very good at explaining what it is. I have about three friends who truly understand my being bipolar. (One has taken me to the psych ER several times.) People have their ideas of what it means to be bipolar and its very difficult to get them to change those. Just like how people think schizophrenic means "multiple personalities". It doesn't; that's disassociative disorder, or DID. So what can we do? Gentle explain ourselves, and when misunderstood, cut our losses? Or do we just drop it for another time when maybe, just maybe, this person might understand? We must ask, "How important is it for this person to truely understand this part of me?"

Sometimes lunch is just lunch, and chatting with a music teacher after school should stay on the topic of music. And for those few who understand me and love me even so, I am so glad you're in my life, and I'm grateful for our relationship.