After All That .... Away for a week

I want to say that I was not hospitalized. From the ER, I was sent to a sort of group home for mental health patients. There really wasn't much to do there except get away from the daily stressors of life. I wanted to go straight home at first, then I got used to it, and then I almost missed the people I was living with. Of course, looking back at the last several weeks that I've been posting its like night and day. Even a friend of mine with whom I talk every day (except while I've been away for some reason), kept exclaiming how "great!" I sounded on the phone today. He said I didn't stutter or have pauses in my speach like I used to. What was written in my chart is pretty clinical, I know, and somewhat scary when you read it that way. But it does match up with what I've written here myself, so a big picture can be seen. My diagosis code, by the way, at my psychiatrist yesterday, is still "pschizoaffective bipolar type". The house wasn't planned out activities like in the hospital but they did hand out medications on timed schedules. Everyone was friendy. Even the guy that was constantly talking to his imaginary friends. And I can say that!! (Though I don't talk back to my hallucinations.) I was allowed to go out a handful times in the week that I was there, a few to dr visits, and a few out with family or friends to get coffee. Those were nice, but having to be back soon, we a little depressing. Speaking of depressing, the longer I was there, the more I could feel my depression lifting. No more dark thoughts. No more suicidal thoughts. No more thoughts to just not exist anymore. I began to look forward to seeing my kids and to cherish the short time I had with them. My pdoc wanted me to go on prozac yesterday, but decided against it which is good because I've heard some bad things about it. I have run out of covered visits for the year and my dr wants me to see her in Decemeber even so, knowing that a visit would cost over $300. Even though I said its Christmas time and that's present money. Even so, she just wanted to see me and see how I am. I understand this and agree- IF I had the money. But I think I can make it a month until my insurance turns over on January 1st and then see her again. She said she can't "make me" come but she'd like me to come. Considering that money is one of my problem areas, I think I'll try to make it to January. I'm going to go back to church choir. That's a great choir and I haven't been in years. I'll have to go back to working out, too.