Tiny Cakes with Tiny Forks

I'm up out of bed. I had my cpap on and my puffy air things on my legs (to prevent blood clots) and was comfy and trying to fall asleep. My mind was wandering into dreamland when I kept seeing myself cutting my arms, and thinking of ways to cut my arms: maybe I could get a fork from the kitchen. (There are no knives, obviously.) The thoughts became seductive as they played over and over and in various, colorful ways.

I called my nurse. A sleeping pill has been ordered. We will see if that will help.

Now that I am awake and typing the thoughts aren't playing as much, but if I had a knife... The thoughts are seductive. They are incidious. They sing to me. They call to me. They wrap me in their warmth and tell me how good they are. They tell me how wonderful it will be when we are together.

The rabbit is up telling tales with the Mad Hatter and they are having tiny cakes- with tiny forks.