Sunday, April 21, 2019

That's it!!

I have been in remission for several months now.  Its wonderful!  Ah! Life!  I feel like me again.  I've been eating well and exercising regularly.  The lack of all that crap is such a relief! Its been too long taking umpteen meds that have horrible side effects and a lot of the time don't really make a difference.  

I had a coffee around noon but without my usual cereal. By 2:00 when I got to my mom's for Easter dinner, my blood sugar tanked. Then dinner was over an hour late. I ate a modest meal and no 2nd helpings. Now I still feel blah. No exercise today because of the blah feeling. But bipolarwise I'm fine. No anxiety, depression, hypo/mania, hallucinations or delusions. In fact I feel like I did back before I was diagnosed bipolar- back when I was doing judo regularly and eating well.  No side effects from meds because I wasn't taking them.  As a matter of fact, I was diagnosed bipolar at the same time as I got blood clots in my lungs and had to quit judo!  I'd had very few bipolar symptoms at that point and no hospitalizations.  I also started Depakote- my very first bipolar med- right after diagnosis.  (Years later, I was changed to Zyprexa- a notorious severe weight-gainer) and gained even more.  I was on zyprexa for YEARS!  It raised my blood sugar and gave me pre-diabetes, I have high blood pressure now, and have had cholesterol in the 700's.  (Normal is below 200.  I was at 133 before psych meds.) As I posted the other day, I have had fatty liver disease for at least a year and all I get is more meds to cover these very real effects from years of regular antipsychotic use.  I will not fight against these psych meds anymore. They are slowly killing me and nobody cares except my liver doctor. I have 4 months until I see him again and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit around waiting to die a premature death any longer. That's it. Diet and exercise is the way to true happiness.

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