Conflicted about Weaning off Zyprexa

My psych nurse practitioner said I could go up to 10 on Zyprexa if I wanted. I do feel some better, but I'm conflicted because I know what the Zyprexa is doing to my liver and my metabolism. (My liver tests just came back normal so I don't want them to be messed up again!) I want to try tapering off again. I have a feeling that the problem I had last time is that I didn't put the zyprexa in my pill box possibly. I can't prove that, at this point, but it would explain the bad withdrawal symptoms. If that's the case, I feel good about going ahead and trying to wean down again. Right now, my pill box is set up with 10 mg pills, one each night for two weeks. I don't even know if I have enough pills to support this weaning. I do have some 5's I could use. I'm conflicted. Psych NP is supposed to call me at some point. Not sure when. I don't see her for several weeks yet.