More Suicidal Thoughts

I'm sitting at a coffee shop with a friend. I guess I was triggered earlier today about a financial matter. Not good. Now I see myself going down the rabbit hole again. Oh all those Skittles. All those tasty Skittles! Now my thoughts are not anxious as much as they are just negative and ... and... I think I have messed up my life. There is nowhere to hide. There are creatures of human form after me. Worse than zombies. They are all after me. They have, in fact, all gotten me while at the same time they are still chasing. Both at the same time. All the time. And down the rabbit hole I go. These two guys behind me won't shut up. They are loud. I can't even crawl under this table to get away. Only the rabbit hole for me. Where it calls to me. Quietly. And it may turn to screaming. Screaming in the distance. Yes. Indefinite running in the cold. Run... no sleep. No warmth. Where are the voices? The soothing voices? Come back to me... Come calling, calling to me! And yet, these voices behind me need to SHUT UP! Melting into the floor. Goodbye. Not here. O death rock me asleep.