Day 1, Part 4 - A Strange New Flavor

I'm hungry. Waiting for dinner. I found that there's a library here, so what is the first book that catches my eye? The Hot Zone. Its about an outbreak of Ebola in the early 80's. I tried reading but it just made me want to go to sleep, so I came out into the common area. Pretty much, people seem to be watching tv, getting on Facebook, or reading. I guess I'll figure out what group is about when I get there. I might do the stretching in the morning, too.

My bathroom door was unlocked for good. They now trust me not to kill myself, it seems. Even so, everything is battoned down. Ev-er-y-thing. Welded, screwed in, or otherwise enhanced.

Its been snowing. The window has those frozen frosts on it. Its nice to watch the cars drive lackidazically by the hospital under my window.

One of the people who works here just asked me if I wanted to play cards! Yay. I think I will take her up on that when I'm done with this. I wish I weren't so hungry.

So I have bruises on my arms which they had to ask me how I got them. I told them blood draws.

Here I am free yet every move is watched. I don't suppose the keystrokes are being captured on this computer, but you never know.

Its really a lot of nothing going on! Its like a big vacation sleep-over with people you've never met and we all have secret identies. We're even wearing scrubs for pajamas. Well that and the doctors and the drugs, but you get it. I really think it was a good idea to switch my drugs because then the side effects can be watched right here.

One of the best parts about being here is that I can be me. I can feel like my brain is not working, go up to someone and ask a pretty incoherent question and I am met with smiles and help! I am in pajamas all day, and yet so are a lot of people. I get a shower and its a luxury. The din of people talking and shuffling by in their hospital footies is actually not bothering me. The meds must be working.

While some of the patients are friendly, there are some which couldn't be bothered to look your way. Whose idea was it to put a bunch of people with serious mental "challenges" in a small "house" together? We obviously have issues coping. I suppose they just have ways of dealing those that go off track. Haldol and restraints, most likely. Otherwise, its hard to talk about trashy tv shows, or the food, or what someone else typing into a computer like mad.

I have gone from bouncing and running and yelling to wanting to go to bed. I don't think I've had Ativan today. I wonder why.

I feel a little isolated because two good friends didn't want to talk to me about this subject. I don't know what's going on with them, but I wanted to reach out to a friendly voice. Ah- but my friend is going to visit me Sunday, I guess. That will be nice. He was the one who was with me in the ER. My mom came for about an hour this afternoon. She was very nice asking questions about bipolar and how I was feeling. Maybe she finally figured out that this is serious and not an excuse of one type or another.

The Rabbit has been running a lot today and is hungry. There is plenty to eat out in the bounties of colorful foods. He has a lot of questions that are about to be answered about a strange new flavor...