Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Mania part 4

Pdoc knows about the sex but the tattoo is since I saw her. She asked me a percentage of how I was feeling since last she talked with me and I said "ten percent". Why I don't know! She did say she will call me this week sometime about something but that could be friday for all I know.

As for safe, no we arent using condoms. I had my tubes tied maybe 10 years ago and I know that doesnt do anything for stis but neither of us are having sex with others. So far Ive managed to only have sex with him. (13 years guy) There was a time before him before diagnosis when i went through strangers and didnt always use condoms. I dont think this is the same.

I dont know if I can see pdoc right away. I just saw her 2 days ago. There is an afterhours phone service where you can talk to people and get feedback. Sometimes they tell you to call 911- like when I took the benedryl- and sometimes they just say to "use your dbt skills" - a non-answer to me. I was all into the idea of that tattoo and if the artist had had time right then and there Id be walking around with it now Im sure. Its what he (went with me and paid) said about a big commitment now that got my attention. I still wanted a cool tattoo for sure but not to be connected to him that way.

I asked the 13 year buddy when we can get together again and he said he didnt know. This makes me anxious. I really think we are addicted to each other. And yes half that is my mania talking. The combination is incredible.

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