....Mixed Thoughts Continued

Everyday I go through the same thing and it gets worse at night. My friends are noticing that something is wrong. I take the Ativan because I want to overdose but can't just take 10. Figure ill work up to it. I have been wanting to of on any pills for months. And the want has been stronger this week than ever. Psych ER won't help. Hospital won't take me. Just keep taking pills.... T wanted to see me this week. Suppose ill call. I'd get drunk if I could. Never been a drinker. I know I'm annoying lately.