Meds Effect on the Brain?

I had a thought that maybe the dulling of our thoughts by the brain drugs- like Depakote, Zyprexa, Lithium, Topomax- are the things keeping us from reaching our full potential. How ironic, since it would seem that while manic or depressed (or a mixed state) we are useless of course! How do we break through? Why haven't I been able to sit down and write a book? But then again, look what I've written here! Not thousands of photos at once but 50 at a time. Still, there are days when I can't rub two words together to save myself from walking out the door and deciding what to do next- or what even those things might be or where I am or what that means! And these are side effects from the drugs! so would I rather be so manic that I am running from thing to thing, or doped out of my mind so that I merely exist. I'm not even talking about being creative while manic and taking that away with drugs. I'm just talking about normal verse higher-level functioning so that I could write a paper on Weakman vs Strawman lines of arguing and various other deceptions. Why can't I? What's in the way? Bipolar? The drugs? Just me?