At Psych ER

The social worker seems to be fighting me a little bit. He's not sure if he wants to admit me or not. He's really up in the air now. Going to talk to the dr who is then going to come talk to me. He was doing the "its up to you whether or not you need admitted" thing to which I said, "my pdoc said that was the next choice" to which he said "You only gave the meds a day's chance!" to which I said, "yeah but I can't stand this." and round and round we went. He says I'd miss my pdoc appointment if I were in the hospital- irony. I don't really WANT to go to the hospital, and so he asks me what do I want out of this visit! Oh geeze. Anyway, he went to talk to the psychiatrist here, so we'll see. I seem to be the only one here so that's good. At least we're getting out of here quickly.

So the drs talked to me and they want to admit me. Citing that they don't think I can keep myself safe for sure. Three to seven days. Not sure if they have a spot here at this hospital or not. We'll see.

I've been waiting hours. They keep interviewing me to see if I'm really sick enough to stay. Its like interviewing for a job. They even had someone talk to me about finances so I said, "just make sure they'll pay before you admit me!" So they're back to pushing buttons around to see what happens. Keep having to retell them if I could be safe or not at home. I think they want me to say "yes! No problem! I'll go home now!" rather than, "My psychiatrist wanted me to go inpatient yesterday". Its now 10:30 p.m.

I'm starting to get grumpy. Must be because I'm tired. They asked me about last time I was inpatient. They seemed to think that I tried to jump off a bridge! How does wanting to climb off a balcony translate to that I don't know, but eh, same effect I guess. Whatever happens tonight, its going to be a late night. I should've brought my night time meds. They keep asking of there is something that set this off on Friday and I just can't think of anything. The normal things that get to me, sure, but nothing major or out of the ordinary and really nothing big at all. I really think its that my brain has just gone bad. The wiring is messed up. Plain and simple.

Speaking of wiring, at least they have given me my nighttime meds. That's a plus!