Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Thought Dropping, Mood Pattern, Weight

I've noticed that I post a lot about how "I suck" in the evening. If I get up earlier in the morning, I'm less apt to do that during the day. I had a nice conversation with a long-time friend of mine last night- he said I don't suck and I'm lovely. How nice!

I was just looking at a photo I took a few years ago of my youngest on a merry-go-round. Then I think, "Why don't you do more of that?" Yes! Why don't I? Photo of my youngest I mean, its as if the world is ending and its all my fault at night. It as soon as the sun goes down, basically. I need to be up doing things- up being creative- getting things done. My friend, above, is so nice to remind me how he likes having me around. Really gets the warm fuzzies going, you know?

At the same time, I'm still having problems with dropped thoughts. Last night, I took my glasses off the same as I always do and set them next to me in bed and then I couldn't find them this morning. I am glad I have a second pair! Also, I'm obsessively looking for my keys and phone and in this warmer weather, I've not been wearing a coat, so I've had to put my phone in my pocket and my keys clipped to my purse. That doesn't mean that I still don't forget what I was just about to do, say or write.

Sort of related, the Zyprexa has given me a new side effect: muscle spasms. They're mainly abdominal and they're pretty bad. They happen all day long. I also, despite the new clothes, have noticed more abdominal fat. I seem to get hungry every four hours and I've been trying to eat mostly small meals like a yogurt or cereal, rather than something big most days. Some days I do have a meal of steak, say, if I go out with my friend I see most Saturdays. My psychiatrist/pdoc refuses to reduce my dose, so I just have to deal with these side effects. What I don't want, obviously, is to gain a bunch more weight on it.

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