Bad News on a Good Day

As I type this, I'm listening to Pentatonix ; its a 5-member choral group sort of like The King's Singer's, but this group has a woman. I got the album for Christmas. I had no idea how popular they are! So that's my background music.

Happy music for some sad news. I had debated whether or not to post about this, but then I figured it does have a direct effect on my bipolar so I should. On Thursday, I got a piece of mail that said as of January 1st (tomorrow), my Medicaid is cancelled! That's right: No more health insurance. I have until Tuesday- the day the office opens again- to appeal this! At least, that's what I think the letter means. Tuesday, when I got the letter Thursday and they were closed on Friday and Monday. So, Tuesday, I'm going into the Department of Human Services to see what they have to say I have to do to appeal this. My case manager for my mental health care said I can still go to my appointment on the 4th. What I don't know is if I can still get the Rexulti at the pharmacy. I may be able to get samples for the time being. Or, I might just have to stick with the zyprexa for the time being. I did go to the pharmacy yesterday and refill 11 scripts! I'm glad I could get so many. I was afraid none would be up for renewal at this time. I haven't looked, but I hope one of those is zyprexa because that's the one the Rexulti is supposed to replace and if I have to go another month on zyprexa then so be it. In general, that's true- these meds give me another month. I wish I could get a 90-day supply each time I refilled, but my insurance doesn't do that.

So cross your fingers for me that I can get this figured out. Of the reasons they listed in the letter as reasons you can have for having Medicaid, I qualify for two. So I hope this is all just a big mistake and it can get sorted out sooner than later. But this also means no hospital visits- unless I want billed. The psych. doctor's office will just bill my insurance when it gets turned back on.

Now on to happier things. I'm off to celebrate New Year's Eve at my mom's house. Champagne and fancy cheeses and music!

Bipolar 2: A Friend's Blog

I belong to a forum about mental health. One of the bulletin boards is dedicated to bipolar. I link to this blog there in my signature. One of the members recently asked if he could link to my blog on his own bipolar blog. Of course, I said "Yes!" Since his has just started, I thought I'd give it some publicity by posting a link on my blog. His deals with bipolar II. It has just started within a week ago, but already there are several posts, as he gets started explaining how it is for him to live with bipolar 2. I have bipolar 1. The main difference between the two is that bipolar 1 has manias whereas bipolar 2 has hypomanias. That is, bipolar 2 never gets manic, just hypomanic. (Bipolar 1 can have both.) They also seem to get the depression end of it a lot more often than those with 1. Me, I get mania several times as much as I do depression.

So enjoy reading about bipolar II. I will, of course, continue updating you about my trials and tribulations with bipolar I.

Comfort (Anti-Anxiety)

A good friend, K, who has taken me to the hospital several times (including the psych hospital) gave me a nice present for Christmas: A heated mattress pad. Last night was my first night with it, so I washed my sheets and self and PJ's and got all ready for bed. Oh how toasty it was and comfy! Fresh and a joyful thing! I had thought it might not be all that warm, but I had it only half way up and was plenty toasty.

On the 21st, I ordered a weighted blanket. (I used the money from my two bipolar studies that I finished this month.) It's a quilted blanket with weights in the pockets/squares. You should order it about a tenth of your own weight. They come in 10, 15 and 20 pounds. They are said to feel similar to the weighted vest at the dentist. Using one is relaxing and even helps you fall asleep. Its also good for anxiety. I can't wait to try mine, but also I can't wait to try it with my heated pad. Several months ago, my psych nurse/pdoc/nurse practitioner took Ativan off my med. list. That means no more anti-anxiety meds for me. I'm hoping that the combination of the heated pad and the blanket will be soothing and comforting so that they will take the place of the Ativan. Better sleep means better mental health, too. Its should be here in another 1 to 2 weeks. I'll update with how I like it when the time comes.

The Meanness of Mania

A few years ago I was chatting with a long-time good friend of mine through Facebook chat. The conversation turned to the topic of circumcision. I had no filter. I just typed everything that came to mind. Offensive things. Pointed nasty things. Mean things. He couldn't understand why I was being this way. But he knew that I am against circumcision; and I knew that he is circumcised. I had no filter and no empathy. The sentences just flowed out of my fingers without a thought in the first place never mind a second thought. I'm sure my friend was confused and a bit hurt. But he forgave me and we moved on.

I consider this the meanness of unfiltered mania.

Quick Hallucinations

This evening, I was out with my younger son and my friend at Panera having dinner. I got up to use the restroom. While in the stall my left wrist looked all bloody! Then it went back to normal again and just as quickly it happened again on the right side. I chalk these up to hallucinations. None since then though. Sure was unexpected!