New nurse practitioner & Scripts - & lots more!

 Listening to my favorite “boy band”, Libera, as I write this.  Look them up.  They have their own site and a YouTube channel.  

Been five months since I last wrote.  Been doing very well.  I feel like myself!  Yesterday, I listened to “The Hidden Spirit”, a CD of 16th and 17th century choral pieces by women for women.  I was five and a half months pregnant with my youngest child the two days in May, 2001 that we recorded this album.  I have a solo on Track 2  and I can hear myself in other tracks even though we are blending flawlessly.  I used to love to sing Gregorian chant with this group: such power in uniting our voices as one big voice!  

As far as my voice is concerned I have been seeing a voice therapist since March this year.  I don’t feel that I’m making much progress and I still can’t sing above about an A or B-flat.  Very disappointing.  I am singing every day and doing my exercises several times a day yet my upper range is still messed up.  Gone are the days of my women’s choir- that voice was 22 years ago!  

I got a new psychiatric Nurse Practitioner back in March.  My old one retired at the end of April- she called me about that time to say an official farewell which I thought was kind of her.  After all, we’d been a team for at least fifteen years.  The new NP is very nice and though I’ve only seen her for one session so far, I saw both her at my last appointment with my old psych NP.  In fact, I see her tomorrow morning- a month after my last appointment.  My old NP had added Klonopin for sleep back in August and it has been a miracle drug!  Not only am I not staying/waking up at all hours of the night, but the terrible anxiety that followed me everywhere and consumed my every thought is gone!   She also added Ingrezza for bad akathisia.  Although I’ve gained ten pounds from not constantly rocking back and forth and shuffling my feet and legs around, my tongue hasn’t been moving around in my mouth (except to eat and talk of course!) so much at all anymore, too.  

I have annual paperwork that comes around about the end of April.  I always seem to dread when I see it in the mailbox because there is so much to it.  However this year I mailed it off yesterday- only three weeks out of six that I had between when it arrived and when I had to get it back to them.  There is so much to do- it’s practically a full-time job in itself!  It should arrive either tomorrow or early next week- three weeks before the deadline.  

I went to the eye doctor a week ago.  I got an eye exam plus a contact lens exam because I wanted to order more contacts in my updated prescription.  I also got glasses.  The frames are plain black but don’t look too bad on me considering I only had six pair to choose from that my insurance would pay for. Both my glasses and contacts came in today but I was only able to pick up my glasses as they didn’t call to tell me that my contacts had just come in until five-to-five- right before they close.  I will get them on my way to my appointment tomorrow.  

For about three months now, Caleb and I have been getting a lot closer.  He came to see me about a month ago and in one more month he is coming to see me and we’re going to a concert of one of his favorite artists that I’ve never heard- not even a recording.  I’ve also set out some of my DVDs and CDs that we’ve talked about on the phone.  We probably won’t play all of them in their entirety except maybe “Office Space” because we both love that movie and he hasn’t seen it in a long time.  

Hypomazing!

 So no call back.  Grr.  I wonder if they will call tomorrow.  I still feel like I'm not important enough to call back again.  Like pdoc said to my case manager, "Oh HER again??!  Just don't reply.  She'll go away eventually..."  Still listening to Rene Jacobs.  It quit raining but its all dripping out now.  I have snacked all day.  Some chicken here, a dry fake peanut butter sandwich there, and apple over there.  I had a granola bar, too.  

I'm kinda sleepy.  Guess I'm not hypomanic after all if I'm sleepy at 7:30 p.m.!  I got up at 9.  I went out and did a lot of errands, including doing the $30 rebate for my contacts.  It was a lot to do just for 15% of the cost.  But oh well. I'm getting a visa gift card with the money on it.  That's good for what?  I'm not sure!  A couple more pix and frames!  hahahahahaha!  Eleven are not enough!  I made a TikTok out of my pix, but it kept cutting off the end. I guess I need to hold it at the end?? They wanted a photo of two boxes of the contacts- the info on the end of the box where your script is.  My script is the same for both eyes, so I still took one pic with both boxes in it.  Otherwise, they would be like, "You're missing a box.  Redo this whole application! Ahhahahahahaha!"  I really think I printed out too many photos.  And for what?  I never have people over.  The one person who HAS seen what they look like said I'm going to be an old lady who writes the people's names on their pic on the front.  I just felt like these few pix needed immortalized.  I need to make another photo book- that's what I need to do, but first I need to study the books I already have to make sure that I don't put the same photo in the new book as in an old one.  That is a long process!  And a perilous one because you're working with a program the whole time that is drag and drop and type-on-the-page.  It's always precarious until you hit that final submit and even then its like "Will it go through or not?"  What I really need to do is get some new pix of all the kids that are current.  Then I'll really be happy.

Still no call from pdoc or the case manager.  I think they left without calling me back.  I wonder if pdoc even opened the email from the case manager.  I think I shouldn't have called. I called because people in the bipolar chat last night said I should, but when I tell them that pdoc and CM think its weird.  Of COURSE they do!  Wait till I plunge into depression and guilt WRACKS me woefully!  All for printing pix.  I started out with the one of N3 - the super close up of his face pouting- and then I had to have more then I had to have MORE!  Now I have them SURROUNDING me in my living room!  All for what- for me to see them every day and get bored of them and want MORE??  Nobody is going to see them, really.  Except whoever looks at my TikTok, which I MADE that video for my friend Christine to see how many I have!  

I'm out of the habit of writing poetry.  It was all in January and mostly February.  I haven't written in my blog in over a month, as there are no posts from March, and so far none for April.