I've joined a dating site in the last week. I've been on two dates. Both were failures. Neither one called me after. I figured so much the better. If there's something they can't deal with about me after an hour or two, then buh-bye. I'm not changing who I am! I'll be polite and cheerful on a first date, but I won't be someone I'm not.
Meanwhile, I have found a new friend! He and I met online through a mutual acquaintance. When we talk, its the circuits lighting up and both of us saying, "Me, too!" and "I really like you!" and he told me he looks forward to seeing my signed-in light on when get gets online. What a way to warm my heart! He's about my age. Its so nice. He calls me "Honey Bunny" and "LUV YOU!" He lives in Georgia, though, but we want to find a way to at least meet. So fun to meet a kindred spirit. He has his issues and I have mine but none of that seems to matter. In fact, we've traded blog addresses and I don't think any less of him and vise versa.
I've gone back to the gym. I know I started back in January and then I slacked off. I've gone back and need to try to keep going. I want to lose weight for this supposed Disney World trip we're going on. I just want to feel better for it. Not to mention all the pictures!
I've also had to file for bankruptcy. Its really depressing! I got a job, too, and had to decline it. How sad! But that's what my lawyer said to do. I wish it were all over already, but there's still so much paperwork to do and its going to take four months anyway. Yes, I know that bipolar people are known to have financial difficulties but I really made a mess. I just cannot WAIT until this is over with. At least I bit the bullet and got it started. The lawyer thinks I have a good case. It won't be easy, but then again, it doesn't seem to be the most complicated case, either, considering all the check boxes I DON'T have to do. The subject has made me feel anxious, but I think the lawyer is nice, so that's something. I can't believe I've made such a mess!
Fall is coming up. That means my kids' birthdays, but it also means that seems to be when I have my worst mood issues. Granted, last year (in November), it seems to have been because of the Saphris setting things off and then my going to the psych. hospital. I am supposed to be saving my appointments for just such a possible occasion, but we shall see. I have one in less than a week, at any rate. I need to talk with her re: my lawyer, too. I have been pretty stable lately, but this bankruptcy thing has made me pretty anxious. My lawyer said it will be better to go forward than to not, but who knows if he just wants the money, you know?
So I feel pretty darned stable, just anxious about this whole bankruptcy thing. I just want it over with. I know that means that I need to get on with finding and filling out paperwork. There WILL be happy days ahead! Meantime, my friends are with me. Letting those go who are not meant to be.
Speaking of, my merry-go-round has stopped. He stopped it. Just less than a week ago. Its over. He just doesn't love me. So I am wasting my time loving him. In fact, he got off the merry-go-round mid-ride and stopped it. C'est fini. I should be much more sad, but as you have read here, this has been coming for nearly a year, sad song and all.
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