Hearing Voices

Hearing voices:

Last night:

Left Ear: Hear Talking on that side. Multiple voices.

Right Ear: Loud talking. Male voice.

Stikmen

Stikmen are found in various cities including mine. So far I've found three. They are aboutsix inches tall each. You can see they are quite distinct. They are found in the street in my town and also in San Francisco. They can also be bigger works of art.

Here are two articles about the Stikmen. Some are quite unique!

an article on the Stikmen

Mysterious Street Men

More Hallucinations

I'm still having hallucinations. Now, they are in front of reality and move like live animals/people. I see them on the ground, on my bed, on the road while I'm driving (which is very distracting). To me, they are real- until they disappear.

Snapshots

The last week, I've been having flashes of vivid images come before my eyes. They are bright, colorful, and last one to three seconds. They are images stopped in time; they are like a poster: colors and shapes in a snapshot. I don't know if these are hallucinations but they go just as quickly as they came.

My Depressions

We often hear the pairing "Anxiety and Depression". Why do they go together so well?

I was reading the posts here and thought, "You know, I rarely get depressed". In fact, the last time I remember being depressed was two, maybe three years ago when I was inpatient. They definitely let me know I was depressed! Somehow, I couldn't see it.

Then, I thought about anti-anxiety meds and how I've been posting about my pdoc not prescribing them- or if they work well, or if they're addictive.

Then it dawned on me: What if my frequent anxiety spells ARE my depressions! Just depression turned inward?

Yes, in the past, I've had spells of crying "for no reason", catatonia, feeling despondent, and generally just not feeling engaged in life. But, far more frequently, I've had this inside-out depression.

Thoughts?

Mental Health Days

Today I took a mental health day- something I'd never done before. I slept in, got a shower, got dressed and went to Starbucks. There I had coffee and read my book. Having taken my zyprexa in the morning instead of the evening I felt dozey which was nice. I just sat and read until it was time to go home. Later, I took my son to a make-up piano lesson and then we both went to choir rehearsal. I'm now in bed and sleepy. Tomorrow is lunch with friends. That's always enjoyable. I think I should take more mental health days- this one did me lots of good!

Anxiety Day 4

I'm still anxious. My younger two kids went off with their friends after school yesterday. Oh sure they called and asked if they could but didn't say it was a half day or where they'd actually be! The youngest managed to get himself miles away! (I ended up crying in the parking lot at the grocery store I was worn out.) Luckily, my children's grandfather went and picked him up and all was well but my nerves were shot. It's been four days of anxiety now. Pdoc upped my zyprexa to 7.5 from 5 again but it hasn't helped really. Talking to friends has helped for the moment. I just feel like the world will come crashing down any second. Imagine what I posted last entry but almost all day long. It hasn't gone away. I'm ok at the moment because I'm at Starbucks reading. (Helps get my mind off things; that, plus the din of Starbucks.) We will see what Pdoc says if she calls me back.