Accepting My Diagnosis

If a manic episode in retrospect does not convince me, what will it take? Ive been locked in a small padded room before. They barely checked on me and they didnt let me out to pee. This was at the psych emergency services. Ive been hospitalized lots of times and they always say bipolar. Except once they said I had bpd and I disagreed and so did my regular pdoc so that was dropped. Ive been to the PES more times than Ive been hospitalized and all but once they say im bipolar. That once they said I had delerium and sent me to the regular ER across the hall.