My Zyprexa got increased to 20 units per day with 5 in the A.M. and 15 at night just a few weeks ago. My psych. nurse/med. provider is trying to get ahead of things for November- when I usually have had an episode (mania)- by the increase. So far so good. I also have been able to apply some DBT skills which is a win for me because it not always easy to do. Right now, its Thanksgiving break from school for the kids and I was subsequently on "vacation brain" and missed not only DBT this afternoon but a meeting with my caseworker! Things are rescheduled though.
In bigger news, it seems that I will be getting my own place after twelve years at my mom's place. I feel excited but nervous. That's what the meeting with my case manager was about today. I have -now- just under two months to secure a place. I'm approved for a three-bedroom apartment or house. I feel like my lack of good credit will get in my way.
Speaking of big things, we are supposed to be going on a trip to California in three weeks. I feel like I shouldn't go but its been planned and the plane tickets are bought. Three of the days we are there, we are staying in the Disneyland hotel and going to the parks. That will be fun, but that's three out of a ten-day trip. I've only been there twice before and both of those were about five hours each on choir tours. Definitely not enough time to take it all in. I'm supposed to pay for the park tickets for me and the kids. It's down to the wire. We leave in three weeks.
On the subject of symptoms, I've been mostly symptom-free, but I do have a recurring weirdness happen. My internal voice starts arguing with itself! And its not nice, either. Its mean and swears a lot and both voices start arguing back and forth. I can't shut it off, either. This has happened despite the increase in Zyprexa. (I just left my med. provider at message about this while I was thinking about it.) However, the increase has made me very sleepy. And sleeping a lot makes me miss appointments and also gain weight. I'm not going to say how much I weigh, but its over a big milestone that I did not want to ever reach! This is the battle that I fight as no other med- as shown last year at this time when we tried a handful of other meds- than Zyprexa can fix. When I was hospitalize in April, I was put on Zoloft and that's still working, I think. The doctor at the hospital last Spring really thought I was depressed, I remember that.
Speaking of medications, more than one of my friends has told me that I take too many prescriptions. Its right around 20 these days. I wouldn't have a clue how to get off them and bad things happen if I'm off Zyprexa even a week. Add that to the other 3 or so psych meds I take and you can see what kind of brain Russian Roulette we'd be playing.
<3
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