Detached

I was going to copy and paste into here but my machine decided to go nuts on me when I tried so I'll just type.

At our Friday lunch with friends today, I felt odd. I felt detached from the world, and yet anxious without the negative feeling. I felt detached from the world. I felt the bathroom wall with my finger tips because it was made of stone and this is something that I only ever do if in some type of mood episode. I called my psychiatrist and she didn't think it was anything dangerous- no delusions or hallucinations, or medication mishaps- so I am left to ride it out. Someone at lunch when I was eating asked if I were okay. At this point, I still felt fine so I said yeah I don't know what's up. She commented on the fact that my eyes were watering and I was blowing my nose as if my dish were spicey- but it wasn't. I'm shaking a bit now, and just have an overwhelming want to detach from the world and float away. I don't feel bad like its anxiety, but it has halmarks of anxiety, I'll admit. I managed to drive home from the restaurant, pick up my kids from school, and get some supplements at the drug store. (One was buy-one-get-one-free!)

I will have to keep a watch on it. Last night, I was anxious and took ativan and benedryl to get to sleep. Maybe its leftover from that? But my day was fine. Lunch with friends should be a fun time! Tomorrow, I'm spending the day with one of my closest friends, so that should be a good day, too. We will probably spend part of it in Starbucks. Now to just finish the laundry I started and get a good night's rest.

Took two Benedryl and an Ativan. Nothing happening. Must need more....

Still feel the same and its an hour later. I'm wonder if I'm in a mixed episode- aggitated and depressed. Manic and depressed.hmmmmm If I can sleep! I took my usual pills for the night. I wonder if they will help.