Delusions & Paranoia

Everyone's heard a friend exclaim "You're delusional!" in the heat of an argument. Just like the world psychotic, "delusional" often gets misused by the general public. (Psychotic just means you are hallucinating, not that you are a serial killer!)

Delusions often go along with hallucinations, but they don't have to. In fact, delusions are often more dangerous than hallucinations! When you are in a delusional state, your sense of how the world is supposed to work is "off". Its not working correctly. Anything could happen, in your mind. Pink giraffes could go flying by and you wouldn't think twice. There have been times, when I thought people are out to get me- to kill me, no less! I was completely convinced of this and was taking preparations to protect myself- completely in the fight-or-flight mode.

One case was when I was out and about shopping. I don't remember if I'd actually bought anything that day, but it was a snowy, winter day. I'd pulled in to park my red van next to a big work van, complete with ladders on the top. I had a bit of trouble parking and thought I'd parked too closely to the them. When I came out of the store later, the van was gone. So I went on my way, stopping at Starbucks. Looking out the window, I saw the van again! It was inching past behind my van. I was sure they were reading my license plate and taking it down to sue me! So I got in my car and left again. I got to an intersection, and saw them again! This time, I knew they were after me. My heart was racing. I had to get away! I was going to be in huge trouble! I finally stopped my car and called my psychiatrist who called back fairly quickly. She assured me that nobody was after me. It took a bit of time to talk me down into believing her. I said, "Yes, but..." and "I know, but..." This is a true delusion: believing something in the face of facts to the contrary. Its still every bit as scary as if these things were true and it sometimes goes along with hallucinations-hearing or seeing things that aren't there-, which can be part of belief that something is after you, too. This is why delusions are often times paired with hallucinations, when patients are psychotic. As I said, above, psychotic does not mean that you are Norman Bates, but it does mean that your sense of reality is askew and you need some help. These things can happen while on anti-psychotics, but I don't know if they are prescribed specifically to combat them. I would think so. I also think that you can be delusional and paranoid at the same time- the fear builds and when the "rules of the world" are distorted, you can very easily think people are after you or going to kill you. It is a scary place to be, and one which I hope to not be again any time soon.