Anger in Mania or Depression

It happened again. A few weeks ago, I got angry. They say anger goes with mania or depression. But when I get angry I start screaming and swearing. I am not myself in any sense of the word. Sometimes, I get so worn out by it, that I flop down exhausted. Something must trigger it. I'm not sure what that is, though there is a sense of something from 30 years ago. I've heard of other bipolar people talking of this anger- of this rage- in mania or depression. I just break down, screaming and swearing, and last time- as wrote- I ended up walking down the middle of the snow-laden street in the dark in my pajamas without a coat. One time, it was so bad, I went to the ER. Of course, now I am almost afraid to go to the ER for both the lack of sleep and the waste of time if the insurance won't pay. What a mess. And why write all of this? Just was on my mind. Its a part of bipolar. Some people get so angry that they get arrested. Thank goodness that hasn't been me. But the intrusive thoughts sure do play. Oh boy, do they. Even years ago- maybe 8 or so- I saw the kids at my son's kindergarten's spines and skulls being ripped out of their bodies. Intrusive thoughts. "Horror movie hallucinations", some call them. They just play. That's one thing writing helps- its a PLACE for these thoughts to go, so they might have a home. Doesn't mean they won't be re-read, but once they're here, they really won't want to leave.