Spiders After Me

I've been trying to post this but my phone wouldn't let me. Had to log into the desktop. I feel like there are hundreds of the black bulbous spiders out to get me. Me. Just me. As in they have a plan. An organized plan. How am I going to sleep tonight? Already something bit me a few days ago on my leg in bed. Why do I keep seeing these spiders? I don't think its just that its Fall. No no. There's a bigger answer than that. Oh yes yes yes there is. They are after me.

Today was Weird

Today was weird. As I was driving home through my neighborhood, suddenly a man was sitting next to me in the passenger seat. He disappeared quickly. At Victoria's Secret with my friend, I had a revelation. Second one that day. Earlier I had realized that to park at church (tiny lot), all I have to do is do like the people who live on the street the church is on: Put our cars in our pockets and take it with us! So simple! (Except that they would be too heavy to carry!)

Saw Psych Nurse Today

Saw psych nurse practitioner this morning. We had a good conversation. I told her about my many hallucinations over the last two weeks and how I really don't want to go up on zyprexa. To my amazement she lowered my vitamin Z to 5 from 7.5 and said I seem stable otherwise. It was as if the fact that if these hallucinations didn't bother me she wasn't going to let them bother her. We also discussed my liver. Going off zyprexa is the right direction! We talked about patients reading their file- specifically psych file. She said some people refuse to believe what's in it! That they did what is written there. I must admit, its difficult at times.

Snow in August!

Today, August 22- I was driving and saw a car with snow on top. Looked back at it and yup still snow. Definitely snow not painted. I'm so confused!

Spider on DVDs

Staring at the book shelf full of DVDs (instead of books) for a moment, thinking of what to watch, I was wide awake. It was 12:45 in the afternoon, when all of the sudden, over the tops of the DVD cases crawls a medium-to-large black shadowy spider. It climbs face-down down the DVD case's spines and into the blackness of the shelf. It was so real that I gasped and asked my kids if they saw it or not. My youngest went and looked and said no, he could find no spider.

Hypnogogic / Hypnopompic Hallucinations

Last night, I was laying in bed and heard a distinct five loud knocks on the upstairs wall. Thinking the neighbors were miffed at us, I got up and looked around to see if it might happen again but it didn't. I asked my kids if they'd heard anything and they said no. When I say I heard them, they were clear as day, yes-they-happened woke-me-up hallucinations.

Turns out these are called hypnogogic hallucinations and happen when you are falling asleep. Why they were so vivid, I don't know, but they can involve the hearing, sight taste and a few other senses. Sometimes, I even feel like someone is violently shaking my bed!

This is a good explanation of the two common types of hallucinations that happen while going to sleep or while waking up.

Visual Hallucinations

Usually when I see bugs or animals they are distinct but fleeting. Just now I looked down at my leg while sitting in this chair and saw a large spider quickly run across my knee! I felt my knee with my hand but nope nothing there.

Just saw another long black bug on the couch that disappeared.

Now the side of my phone case seemed to be animated like a bug was underneath the side of the case. Things were quickly moving.

If I have any more of these, I will edit this post.