My Mental Health History Before Bipolar

My first time seeing a mental health professional was at age 16. I don't know if he was a therapist, pdoc or what but I know he had on argile sox! I don't remember what we talked about but in retrospect we had lots I couldve talked about: growing up a child of an alcoholic, or the voices I heard. But instead, he pronounced me a "normal teenager" and sent me on my way. 

I always felt I was different somehow. I was even told as much by teachers and one aunt in particular. 

At 25, when pregnant with my first child, my OB/GYN prescribed Zoloft for depression.

I saw a woman about the adult child of an alcoholic thing- syndrome I guess you'd call it when I was 26 or so. But we didnt get far. 

Some time after this, I saw orange rectangles in the sky. I had my husband come look. He said he saw nothing. But every time I looked outside they were there but they weren't there when I looked back inside.

My second pdoc was when I was pregnant and post partum with my third child at age 29. Despite vivid hallucinations, she refused to look further into my symptoms- including catatonic depressions. 

After my 3rd pregnancy, I saw someone for post partum psychosis. Only I didnt know that this is what its called. This is when I had my first vivid violent hallucinations.

Then about age 32 I saw a therapist that was supposed to help me find my way into my own place instead of living with my mom. I told her my tale and she just said "What do you want ME to do about it??" I got madand Im pretty sure I just left. I had sooo been looking forward to that appointment, too. 

It wasn't really until I was about 33 that my primary doc referred me to a pdoc in general. I dont know what I told her for her to deem that necessary but I do remember being dissociated wandering the neighborhood and of seeing a little girl on a porch just disappear. I also remember riding my bike quickly with headphones on singing along to classical choir music at the top of my lungs.

I was finally diagnosed bipolar NOS. Not sure how long later but they changed it to bipolar 1.