4/30/19 Last night i was exhausted!! I crashed into bed feeling like id been run over by a herd of bison. This morning i got up early and feel not so crushed.
Im going to see my case manager in a few minutes. I just talked with her.
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Case manager said im manic. She read my blog ! A LOT of the past two weeks worth! She said i should hang out with a friend today while i wait for my psych nurse to call back. Going to friend's house for a bit i guess. CM says "who is P.D.O.C.? [Name removed]?" Lol you guessed it! Ding! Ding!
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I am enjoying how free my mind is and how words come to me with ease.
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Ive become obsessed with all things pleasurable
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Yeah well not so much I guess- too bad manic sex can't be had more often!
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Starting to feel like buffalo are running me over again.
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Despite my case manager reading my blog, i still believe what i wrote.
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Mmmm! The textures of these crackers in my mouth! Heightened senses is great! Ultra green grass, the feeling of cool air going through my nasal passanges as I inhale!
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My friend just put this 3-footed hand massager on my back and said "You deserve this..." It felt sooooo good! Lit up my brain- my brain actually felt like IT was being massaged
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5/2/2019 Pdoc called this morning- says Im manic too. Putting me back on seroquel at a higher dose- morning, afternoon and night doses. She said she doesnt know why but Spring is high for mania. I took the morning dose and right now i want coffee but i also im hungry again but I ate bfast already. She also doesn't want me to drive as she's afraid I'll crash my car from my wreckless driving. I seem to be calmer when i wake up- but i was up at 5 today; two hours early- then soon start racing again. Pdoc says she doesnt want me to crash depression-wise. I can't picture that very easily but I think having a good cry would release some of this energy that's built up.
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My psych nurse practitioner called this morning. She said not to drive. To take seroquel morning noon and night. Literally!
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This increased seroquel dose is kicking my ***. Since 930 ive taken a total of 200 and i take 200 more at bedtime. My mom is coming over but i'll just sleep anyway. I feel like I've been run over by a herd of angry, wet buffalo! I have lots of body aches and can barely keep my eyes open. This is better??
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What do i do to combat this awful sleepiness? I don't want to sleep all day again. Ive lost 5 pounds from exercising recently but i have syrup for brains and I feel like Ive taken a handful of valium.
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I still would rather not have that stuff hijacking my metabolism and antagonizing my brain
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At 200 total dose this morning i feel like ive been run over by a herd of angry buffalo. Can hardly keep my eyes open...
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Ive taken 100 this morning as prescribed and due for 100 more soon and 200 at bedtime.
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I slept for over 3 hours straight- felt like 5 minutes! Damned seroquel!
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What do i do to combat this awful sleepiness? I don't want to sleep all day again. Ive lost 5 pounds from exercising recently but i have syrup for brains and I feel like Ive taken a handful of valium. I think I know why they call psych meds a "chemical straightjacket".
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5/3/2019
Psych nurse practitioner called. I'd gone into her office building to report a side effect of Seroquel- achey, tender breasts. (She said that was a possible side effect of seroquel.) She said I was very close to being hospitalized for mania- that I would have been if the increased Seroquel hadn't worked. That it was "just to get you down. You were way up there." I guess by "working" she meant "knocked you on your ass".
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