Hyper-Aware & Time Crawling

I'm home. It's dark. Inside and out. I brushed my teeth after dinner. Time crawls by. Breathing noticeable. Afraid of last time where I couldn't shut it off. I was hyper-aware of each breath. Started today with cold air activating my asthma. So much time until bedtime. One kid here, one kid not. Strange state. Indefinite. Had music on. Now off. Now on. Had a movie on. Now off. I feel stuck in this moment. Will I ever see the sun again? So much to do tomorrow- important stuff! A video to watch. Music playing Pie Jesu now. Papers to turn in to two places tomorrow. I can't believe I'll finally be off Zyprexa! My cholesterol is 700+ and my triglycerides are even more. I won't start the new med. (Rexulti) until I see my pdoc which is the first week in January. It seems so long from now- almost six weeks. We have to get through Christmas. Heck- this week is Thanksgiving! The breathing thing, let me explain. A couple years ago or so, we tried to change my medications up. We tried several different meds. One of them had the side effect that I was hyper-aware of my breathing: every breath in and out I felt. It was very distressing!! I can't even type about it without it trying to come back, so I'll just say that it started to come back today with a trigger of cold air outside (it was 27 degrees today). So today has been a day of time crawling by and of being hyper-aware of my surroundings. Please shut it off. Thank you.