Loss

Any loss is difficult, but today I lost my therapist. At the end of my appointment, she got quiet and inside a moment before she spoke, I knew: She is leaving. Retiring. I started crying. This was totally unexpected to cry at this news. I guess I never really thought at all about how it is to have someone who knows everything about your life just leave. Its weird because it isn't a friendship, it isn't a relative- its better. She remembers everything about me- even things I don't. I tried not to cry, but then she said, "Are you going to cry?" and of course that did it. I managed to leave my appointment and stop crying, but for at least the next two hours, I cried off and on. Its still a surprise. I have several appointments left, but now I am feeling that all that I've worked on with her- and NOT gotten accomplished in my life!- needs to get done in the next 3 months before she leaves. I know I'll get a new therapist. I know that when I lost my last psychiatrist, my new one came and I think she's wonderful. I tried to explain this to my therapist today but all that came out was a jumble of words and pointing next door to her office.